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Thursday, June 23, 2005

[last edited at 6:44pm]

gotta blog right now or else i'll fall asleep... seriously guys, you know how this is brandon's Summer of Change? (or Summer of Love, or Summer of Getting Buff, or Summer of Wrappi--- well, you get the point!) anyhow, i'd like to officially dub this Tiffany's Summer of Sleep Deprivation! not that i'm complaining or anything - i'd rather spend talking with friends than get an extra forty winks at night - but i wonder how long i'll be able to keep this up. maybe this will be good training for the school year though - you know, what with all of the "studying" that i normally do... man, it's a good thing i don't operate any heavy machinery at work! :p

honestly though? this has been such a great summer :) i thought last year was the Summer of Fun since i spent so much time with my gifty buddies and tacb, but this summer has definitely surpassed it in every way - not only have we continued our girls' night, but there are no more lingering "teenage angst" issues and i've been spending most of my free time with my lovely west-enders <3.> getting sick of each other (yet). this is a huge shout-out to ames, ju, kalam, brandon, and dave... thanks for putting up with me and making this summer so memorable. group hug! :p

hey, you know what i realised? being really, really tired brings out your sentimental side big time. i've been like this all morning - it's been such a nice, unhurried day at work, and i'm surprisingly in a non-sarcastic mood. so no making fun of customers today, folks! :)

[added in later at 4:52pm]
where i work, the reception area is spacious, bright, climate-controlled, and has these huge windows overlooking the greenery planted outside our office. it's a really welcoming and open-concept area - and by "open-concept", i mean "not locked behind three sets of security doors and barbed wire"... so it's definitely a good thing that i work for such a great and friendly company, thus avoiding one day finding myself riddled with bullets from a disgruntled employee and having no security around to stop it (um, not that i think of such things normally...) but yeah, it's nice and open, with a leafy view. windows are key - that's what i've learned from my years at martingrove (or, "the institute", as dave likes to put it). i guess they figured that being able to see into the outside world would detract from all the learning taking place? the new-ish physics lab that they had completed was always a point of pride since it contained the school's only classroom with a window (that didn't look into some hallway). this said window was stuck in the corner of the lab, looked out onto the roof, and was only one square foot in area, but hey: beggars can't be choosers. i love mci and it was a really good school, but it's hard to dream in such a prison-like environment. (i think that was why we spent every available spare outside on the lawn when the weather was nice...)

but on afternoons like this, when there's a lull on the phones, this place is ripe for dreaming... no compulsion to fill up the silence with meaningless forced chit-chat, only the strong need to look out the window and drink in the blues and greens of nature. i just sit there, contentedly, until the tone of a call brings me back to reality. it's times like these that really make me wonder what i'm going to do with my life. am i really suited for the day-to-day grind? will my soul be able to survive the slow starvation of working for a cold, unfeeling corporation? will i go postal on my loved ones if i don't have ready access to a window?!? i neither toil nor spin... what sort of life am suited for besides a life of leisure? what sort of occupation (besides trophy wife, perhaps) would allow me to live my life eating, sleeping, reading, dreaming, and talking with friends??????

but then i look back out the window, sigh, and then allow the milky white stillness of the afternoon fill my head up once more. God'll take care of it.

posted @ 2:23:00 p.m.

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