name : tiffany
faith : christian.
nationality : cbc.
status : <3
living in : toronto.
school / major : UT / pharmacy
.: my stats, as of 11/05/06 :.
mood : tired.
likes : my friends. bunnies fronting as pillows. keeners.
dislikes : exams. lack of sleep. keeners.
wishlist : "connections".
current distractions : dexter, top model, heroes.
wondering : hmmm, is it too late for me re-learn study habits?
Thursday, October 30, 2003
in the news today:
a 5.6 billion dollar deficit?! what the heck!?!
my outlook's much better today... no more crying! yay!!! i mean, i gotta move on with school and life... hopefully, if i study and work hard... it'll work out? but i'm SO DEAD for next week... please pray for me! i have a psych midterm on monday, an orgo lab report for thursday, and a stats test and yeast lab due both on friday! :(
meanwhile... tommorrow's going to be a great day! i mean, the weather will be gorgeous (17°C) and rain-free!!! (a large feat, for kingston...) plus it's a weekend, there will be friends and candy, and i'll get to wear my cat ears!
various notes:
- dave, my chem TA, is the best!
- aw! your nervousness is so cute, brandon!
- danny! sober up, now! :p
- i don't wanna do work!
- will have some new pics up on the epson site soon-ish (courtesy of erin hayaskihoyash hayashi)
- if you guys have any prayer requests, just send 'em my way...
- i love you all! <3 (thanks for putting up with my boring ramblings!)
- am still thinking of ...... (take a guess, see if you're right)
posted @ 6:12:00 p.m.
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felt like on the verge of tears this evening.
school. scholarships. careers. passion. money. friends. health. loneliness. spirituality. the future. EVERYTHING. it's all a pale azure...
thank God for my parents and great friends like erin and brandon.
love you both... thank you for always making me smile.
forwarded email:
BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely know where
you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and
aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to
start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest
force of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try
and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon
realize that the past is drifting further and further
away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you
are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough
that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why
you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same
topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You
worry about loans, money, the future and making a life
for yourself... and while winning the race would be
great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Send this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it
will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their
state of confusion........
so i still have no idea about anything... but atleast i'm not alone?
your thoughts?
posted @ 1:07:00 a.m.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003
so, went out to dinner with grace tonight to use one of our many coupons... were thinking of having a brock 4 reunion, but then decided that people were all too busy to do anything this week. unfortunately, we're all going to be swamped (well, i will be, atleast) in the coming weeks and then midyears/finals are going to hit us, so yeah... looks like we're not going to be "partying" until wednesday night on the 17th of december... (the return of the king comes out that night!!) sigh. have i mentioned how much school blows? i mean, what's the point of trying when i'm just going to do badly anyhow?
oh man... so full... nothing like lone star mashed potatoes, onion fries, and fajitas to take the edge off of imminent scholarship loss... ok, not completely, but i forgot about it for those two hours! now to studying so i won't dig myself into a deeper hole...
uh oh. when tiffany overeats, she gets sleepy...
posted @ 8:27:00 p.m.
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the amazing things you can do with a ladder...
finally took the multiple (7, i think?) paint cans away from the side of my bed and moved them out of the room... it only took me two months to do... so if i find out i'm sterile in a couple of years, you'll know why... :p
oooh! and we also now have a "window treatment"... we are SO martha stewart/trading spaces/debbie travis! a little bit of white christmas lights, some mosquito netting... and voilà ! instant window valance!
meanwhile... biol 200 labs are useless!
ok... now that's two marks down the drain... looks like no more scholarships for tiffany... :(
posted @ 5:34:00 p.m.
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Tuesday, October 28, 2003
this is so cool! post-it notes for your PC! download it! pssh, who needs a planner?
also: yay! i got a message from my non-cosmic match! ;p
question time! so what are you guys going to do this friday for halloween?
posted @ 3:19:00 p.m.
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Monday, October 27, 2003
just came back from grocery shopping. yes, at one in the morning!
actually, we went shopping b/c it was on the way home from karolina's. we dropped her off after visiting marco to celebrate his 20th birthday... we surprised him real good! just like our old brock 4 birthday cake bashes last year... heheh... we snuck into the rez and then surprised him in the gord/brock laundry room! (oooh! marco's a boxer and briefs guy... ;p ) had some chocolate cake (sooo goood!) and gave him his gift... a mini crowbar! it's not a titanium one, but you can still use it to smash things and intimidate frosh! hope you liked it!
to marco, karolina, jess, hasib, alanna, and danny: good luck on your midterms this week!
sigh. was planning on going to sleep tonight before twelve. of course that didn't happen since karolina called us up for marco's, but s'ok. it was worth it! my friends always are!
man, christian is SO cute! i really want to visit candice sometime in the next few months... perhaps during the holidays?
note to self: start planning danny's birthday (may 21st) present in advance... 7 months early enough? haha
p.s. ran into jen, jackson, and my dearest JEANIE (whoa! holy alliteration, batman!) on saturday afternoon while shopping. man, that JEANIE is such a great friend, i love JEANIE to pieces! seriously, everybody should have a JEANIE in their lives! ;p (but seriously, i do love you!)
posted @ 1:46:00 a.m.
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Sunday, October 26, 2003
long blog today:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCO!!!!! whoa... the big two-oh... hope you have a great day! (also, on thursday the 23rd, it was ming's 20th and keith's 19th birthdays.)
people i would like to get a hold of since i haven't heard from them in ages (who read this): tina! simon! liz! erin! HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING???
note 1: miss you too kalam! thanks for leaving me those notes! will try to give you a call sometime, ok? (though for the record, thursdays are my weekly jenne-and-tiff super thursdays...)
note 2: ROHAN!!! you're still alive!!! YAY!!! how are you? that "DWAH!" on your page is driving me crazy! when are you going to elaborate? (also, i hate midterms too. they suck.)
CANNOT ("it's one word! from the number of papers i've received from all of you, you'd think that they were broken up and not seeing each other anymore!" ~ mr. kirkwood, oac english) FORGET THE EARS!!! LOVE YA, TACB!!!!
note 3: futher crypticness (inspired by danny): i do still love the tree, i just think that it's withered away and died. i'd like to be proven wrong, but i don't think a second generation of apples will grow... :( meanwhile, i think oranges taste better!
just got back from church... was an excellent service on having a new mindset on life... living as christians in attitude and action. you should really read ephesians 4:17-32 for guidelines. i might not be succeeding, but i'm trying... thinking of joining sunday school on "spiritual gifts" as well.
oh, i got this from a ccf email today... even if you aren't religious, you have to admit that the Bible has some pretty darn good metaphors and analogies... read:
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered
what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining
silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That
week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to
watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason
for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of
refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over
the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining
silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire
where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the
impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot
spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits
as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith
if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the
whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that
yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had
to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the
fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it
would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the
silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh that's easy - when I see my
image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God
has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His
image in you.
Pass this on. Right now, this very moment, someone needs to know
that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going
through, they'll be a better person in the end.
oh, so i had my orgo midterm on saturday... thank God that it's over! wasn't so bad, i think i did well enough? but yeah, when i was done, i took a nice nap, chatted with some friends on msn, went shopping with grace and then we went out to dinner with suz because we hadn't seen her in three weeks!!! goodness, look what midterms have reduced us to! we tried calling up other people, but they were either not home or busy studying... but that's ok, i think we're planning on having a mid-week get-together for brock 4 on wednesday night?
anyhow, the three of us had a great time... it was SO GOOD to see suz again... honestly, dear, since we live so close, we have to meet up more often, if even for a one-hour chat! we were originally going to go to windmills, but we hadn't realized how expensive it was even with 25% off! like the lowest entrees started at $13... i mean, the food looked good, but we were starving and didn't want to wait for like an hour for a table and also didn't want to spend to much $$$. we ended up going to bangkok village and the food was so yummy! mmmm, curry...
afterwards, grace and i went home and we ended up watching hilarious hip-hop videos... oh man, you have to see ludricris' "stand up" video... it's so ridiculous that it's funny! (what's the the enlarged limbs and baby bodies?) ooh, and we also went to various clothing sites (yes, we're into consumerism...) and went to the abercrombie and fitch site. oh. my. goodness. you know how they're catalogs are known more for the naked twenty-somethings than the clothes? well, the site wasn't too far-off in some parts... haha, we started watching A&FTV, searching for the episodes where the guys weren't wearing shirts... ("what? the beach volleyball one has girls in it? 'cmon! that's not right!") hahaha
posted @ 1:34:00 p.m.
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Friday, October 24, 2003
long time no blog...
have been busy studying for orgo and doing other school-related activities. that is all. :(
man, after the midterm tommorrow morning, we are SO going out and celebrating... i think we all deserve a drink!
so how are you guys doing? how have midterms and life been in general?
posted @ 3:56:00 p.m.
following along with the grace and tiff reality tv/digicam concept:
so i went to my pharm lecture today and it was "drug trafficking in the kingston area" with a police detective guest speaker... it was really interesting actually. did you know that kingston is the speed capital of canada? we're rife with drugs b/c of all the prisons... apparently all the brothers of the jailed drug overlord guys come to kingston. hooray!
also, there's apparently a big morphine problem here... and guess where the methadone clinic is? you guessed it, at the street health centre across the street!! the detective actually said "it's across from sepp's ski shop on montreal street." i think that was the best part - hearing my own street being named off during class... it's like a celebrity now! (you know, when i heard that we had a lecture on drugs in kingston, i joking told grace that montreal st. would be mentioned...) so yeah, slightly shady...
then he goes on to say that he doesn't believe in methadone clinics, b/c they don't work in reality. in theory, methadone is used to wean people off opioid narcotics like morphine and heroin. methadone itself is an opioid narcotic, so it doesn't block the effects of morphine, but instead it doesn't give the same high as those other drugs, allowing for the user to slowly stop using opioids. however, the det. said that people use those other drugs and then go to the clinics for a cheap high (to prevent withdrawal symptoms, i suppose) in between. plus, lotsa people deal heroin and morphine right outside the health centre b/c all their potential clients would be right there! all right outside my window! so when i walken home from lecture and saw those groups of people congregating outside the clinic... well... i saw things in a kinda new light...
on an unrelated note: come visit me in kingston! it's a great place! (i mean, it's the least you can do for my upcoming 20th (eep!) birthday and all... you can stay at my apartment! you'll love the view! ;) sigh. it's times like these where i'm glad that we have 2 locked doors between the street and our apartment... thankfully, i feel totally safe. sadly, it's probably more safe than living in the ghetto, where nobody locks their doors and there are always shady-looking people stalking around... we just get mullets!)
ooh! tiffany's happy of the day: speaking of pharm, i got a 92.5% on the midterm!!!!!! that's 2 midterms in the 90s so far!!! (which will hopefully offset the potentially failing biol 200 midterm and the upcoming orgo...) now i just need to find out the marks for 205, 200, and stats.
posted @ 4:08:00 p.m.
Sunday, October 19, 2003
who needs tv when you can just look outside my window and see a guy trying to break into his own car with the help of two complete strangers! the best part was when an entire family walked by and kept giving the three guys strange looks. i swear, if we had a grace-and-tiff cam...
posted @ 4:55:00 p.m.
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thank GOD it's the weekend!
no midterms until next saturday...
have been taking it pretty easy today... grace and i woke up noon-ish (had to catch up on much-needed sleep!) and decided to go shopping. i bought another bag today - a rainbow one (just to spite my brother!) from gap kids. just hung around the apartment afterwards and then we had homemade (!) soup and chicken curry! yum! then we got all hooched up and met up with jess for bubble tea later on in the evening. haven't seen that girl in ages, so it was really nice just to meet up and chat a little. anyway, life's been pretty uneventful as of late (besides those stupid exams), so i'm sorry for the boring updates.
oooh! here, i got this off of marco's blog and i think they're SO funny!
> "Let's converge at my focal point."
> "The limit of your beauty is continuous as I approach you."
> "Before I met you I was a scalar, but you have given me direction."
do you realise that i have 28 days of youth left? i'm turning TWENTY in november! aaaahhh! so scary! and what do i want for my birthday? hugs and kisses from my friends! yes, that's right, even from those of you who aren't in k-town... so you best be buying those bus tickets to visit me soon!
posted @ 1:49:00 a.m.
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Wednesday, October 15, 2003
quick blog before i study:
got like 4 hours of sleep last night before my 8:30 am biol 205 midterm... SO TIRED... but must study for my phar 100 and biol 200 (gulp) midterms tommorrow... not to mention do my orgo pre-lab... at least the orgo midterm isn't until next week...
guess what fun thing i was doing last night? from 9:30 pm to 1:00 am, i was at biosci PHENOTYPING 224 STUPID FLIES!!! it took a good four hour chunk out of my studying time!!!!! ARGH! I HATE BRISTLES!!!!!!!!!!! but at least i don't have to come in tonight... and all i have to do is get tommorrow over with... {sob}
r.i.p.
here lies tiffany shui,
beloved daughter, sister, and friend.
she died from excessive school work;
her last words were:
"death to the drosophila".
sigh... :p
meanwhile, good luck on all your midterms, dear friends! (good luck on your orgo, danny!) you'll all be hearing from me soon (once these exams are done, that is)!
posted @ 10:06:00 a.m.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2003
those last lines...
posted @ 12:32:00 p.m.
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Monday, October 13, 2003
... thud.
why do i always set myself up for the fall?
had a fairly contemplative ride back. if anything, thinking's always been my worse enemy... the lie was better, i think...
but the stars on the ride back to kingston were gorgeous... was left in awe of You...
and now must focus on "matters of consequence"... on to studying. :(
i want to be a rose.
posted @ 10:38:00 p.m.
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so, according to my parents, i've beeen hanging out too much with brandon,kalam and ed. it seems that i need to enlarge my social group... riiiight... so this has nothing to do with the fact that they're guys? (whatever. i still love you guys anyway! :p )
my weekend so far:
> ugh. this lack of high-speed internet is killing me. dial-up is SOOOOOO slow... sigh.
> friday: got back around 6:30pm... had dinner with my family at "macey's" in mississauga, did some grocery shopping, then met up with brandon, kalam, ed and john for some pho (well, in my case, a yummy strawberry milkshake) and "good conversation"... (or so i was promised!) note: this was the so-called "worst" day of brandon's life... (how many "worst days" has it been now?)
> saturday: met up with mei, allison, and benita!!! hung out at their house for awhile, and then hit up dixie value for a few hours... came back to their house afterwards and chatted some more - and went "shopping" in mei's closet... THANK YOU! benita and i were dropped off at "2 8" for the agape dinner and i proceeded to fill her in on the last 5 months of my life... can't believe i had so much to update her about!!! but yeah, it was really good, b/c i never get to see them anymore - especially benita! i think the last time all 4 of us got together was last january when we went to niagara together. i miss you guys! love you lots!!! *muah*
> sunday: church. was debacle-less, thankfully. truthfully though, i was disappointed that genius wasn't there. looks like i won't be seeing him until...? christmas? so much for getting over awkwardness... it's sad that i still miss him and all his idiotic sayings! but yeah, it was still good because i got to see david zhang and have lunch with him and his family. what a sweetie! (quite liberal with the hugs!) i hope he comes to visit me when he plays against queen's in rugby. anyway, after lunch, dropped by jon's skydome condo and then went home. drove around with my dad for a few hours, and then helped my mom make thanksgiving dinner. dinner with family and some extended family... yum! and then met up with kalam and brandon (again!). haha, it was a lot of fun hanging out with those two... pure jokes! note: these past two days have been the (second) best days of brandon's life. hon, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! but honestly, between the dreamy smiles and your cold, you looked like you were high... hahaha. but i'm glad... i haven't seen you this happy in a looong, looong time. :)
so much for studying... actually, should probably do that about now...
later folks. see you in k-town tommorrow. <3
posted @ 1:11:00 a.m.
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Thursday, October 09, 2003
heh, i figured out why i've been all blah and sad-ish this week: it's all brandon's fault! you and your damn reminiscing!! :p (it's that and the fact that my biol 205 lab... especially the drosophila thing... is totally stressing me out... everytime i come back from it, i feel like smashing something with a baseball bat... SO FRUSTRATING!)
so once again, tiffany only got, like, 5 hours of sleep last night. was up late last night working on my orgo lab report... handed it in today... now all i have to do is study for my stats test tommorrow... yeah, i now look like a zombie of some sort (are there different sorts?) and this whole "looking presentable" thing is now a thing of the past. (introducing exhibit a: the bags under my eyes)
but yeah, things are going pretty well... am having fun and enjoying life besides the school aspect of it. (unfortunately, that's a big part...) at least it's almost the weekend and i 'll be able to get some rest...
LOOKING FORWARD TO COMING HOME TOMMORROW!!!
friday - get back home at about 6:30pm... might possibly hang out with brandon in the evening, but no solid plans... if anyone's interested in doing something with me, give me a call.
saturday - (possibly) studying in the morning, shopping with the girls (tacb!!!) and then agape dinner; where's the cia reunion taking place?
sunday - church, family thanksgiving dinner, studying (hopefully, but unfortunately), seeing friends?
monday - heading back to kingston, studying, etc.
GIVE ME A CALL AND WE'LL DO SOMETHING!!! (study, shmudy!)
thoughts:
hey, so i wonder what the reviews for "kill bill" will be like tommorrow?
how weird is it going to be at church this sunday with everybody there?
will i get any studying done this weekend?
how can i show the people in my life that i am thankful for them?
and how can i show God?
posted @ 5:46:00 p.m.
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Tuesday, October 07, 2003
entry: lost function: adjective definition: missing synonyms: absent, adrift, astray, at sea, cast away, disappeared, disoriented, forfeit, forfeited, gone, gone astray, hidden, invisible, irrecoverable, irretrievable, irrevocable, kiss goodbye, lacking, minus, mislaid, misplaced, missed, obscured, off-course, off-track, strayed, unredeemed, vanished, wandering, wayward, without
concept: loss source: Roget's Interactive Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0.0)
if there is time
can we still find
some piece of mind...
i need You...
hold me in Your arms,
never let me go,
i want to spend eternity with You.
posted @ 11:19:00 a.m.
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Sunday, October 05, 2003
had a really great day today. spent it with my family and jenne... another classic "super sunday"! the two of us went for a walk around the neighbourhood and we rented a movie (best in show... love that movie! "we both like soup... snow peas... talking and not talking....") and looked at some old photos. (man, i was an adorable kid... what went wrong? haha)
don't really want to be back in kingston yet... but here i am... sigh.
had a sad bus ride today... thinking about stuff too much. bah, gotta stop all this introspection! have no idea what exactly brought this all on tonight.
Your will, not my own...
posted @ 10:54:00 p.m.
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today: dim sum, shopping, dinner, missions committee (jon's turkey trip) which was really good. too much to write about here myself... if you want to know about his trip, you should go to his blog and read one of his recap posts.
oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart,
distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us. ~ you said
and my eyes they look unto You always...
posted @ 12:22:00 a.m.
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Saturday, October 04, 2003
sooooooo good being home again...
i wuv my mummy and daddy.... :)
am going to go shopping before jon's turkey/missions committee thingy... $100 in gift certificates to blow... am i gonna have fun or what? heh heh. somebody give me a call here (in toronto) if you wanna do something, ok?
hope everyone's having a great weekend so far!
posted @ 11:44:00 a.m.
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Friday, October 03, 2003
didn't get much sleep, but psych went well.
new phar 100 prof is BORING!
fell asleep in stats again.
had a nice chat with victoria.
hope nick is going to be ok. (and not die!)
missing out on stages tonight and homecoming weekend (and the various pancake keggers) because i am toronto-bound!
apologies for the brief update!
posted @ 1:32:00 p.m.
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Wednesday, October 01, 2003
well... the seminar went pretty well... everybody kept saying that i did a good job, and i really think that i did - didn't even really need to refer to my notes much near the end... of course, i'm not sure i did well overall on account of my ALMOST PASSING OUT in the first two minutes of my seminar!!! i guess i hadn't had too much sleep (kinda slept at 5am...), food, and i had to run back and forth from my apartment to biosci b/c i realised that i had forgot a page behind... coupled with the fact that i was a nervous... it lead to me gripping the desk in front of me all of a sudden and feeling like i was going to black out right in front of everybody! i had to stop right there and take few minutes' break... but yeah, besides that, it went well...
i started talking with him again like we used to!
got back from karolina's a little while ago.. HAPPY 20th DEAR!!! goodness, so we've had... 4? 5? birthdays this past week alone? but yeah, could only stay for a little while b/c i had/have to go study my psych, but it was good having a mini-brock4 reunion (renzo is SO hilarious!) and eating party mix, nachos, chocolate cake and ice cream... yum!
danny's staying in 'loo, so i can't watch watch a movie with him this week... :( (oh, and see? i told you that ju was the best!)
hmmm... cia reunion during thanksgiving?
a little disappointed with myself b/c i slacked off majorly with my quiet times... haven't been praying as much as i should be.
