name : tiffany
faith : christian.
nationality : cbc.
status : <3
living in : toronto.
school / major : UT / pharmacy
.: my stats, as of 11/05/06 :.
mood : tired.
likes : my friends. bunnies fronting as pillows. keeners.
dislikes : exams. lack of sleep. keeners.
wishlist : "connections".
current distractions : dexter, top model, heroes.
wondering : hmmm, is it too late for me re-learn study habits?
Sunday, February 06, 2005
the tail-end of this week (since i last posted) has been pretty good. saw hide and seek with some pharm friends - it was alright, though i've never been a big scary movie kind of gal. (give me cheap laughs anyday!) it was better just sitting around talking with the girls, especially donna all hopped up on sugar! :p
friday was a really good day as well. went to classes, and studied a bit, then hung out with abbie and kate for the aps chinese new year dinner. the food itself was so-so (i hadn't been to that restaurant before and i don't think i'll return either), but the company was great. i took off for delta after dinner (conveniently right before the karaoke portion of the night began... although i bet i could have totally rocked celine dion's beauty and the beast if given the chance!) delta was really fun ("many an anemone sees an enemy anemone"... try doing that tongue twister during broken telephone!) and since we're wrapping up our spiritual gifts unit, we were talking about the things that we'd want to do if time and money were no object. one of the things i'd like to do would to make creative announcements/"commercials"/advertisements during service that would liven things up a little and just grab people's attention. actually, i'm not quite sure what exactly they would be, but all i know is that when i get a certain image or inspiration in my head, i get totally hyperactively excited and i have so much fun conceiving those ideas. i'm hoping that i'll actually be able to channel this (kinda random) passion into something actually constructive. i'm thinking of maybe joining ACTS, our church's drama team, but i'm not sure in what capacity. as you all know, i'm somewhat of a drama queen at times and i secretly love the idea of acting (it's in my genes!), but in all honesty, i'm not that great of an actress! so we'll see... perhaps i'll be developing my dramatic skills, or maybe i'll be doing something else like helping with the writing or even doing set-up! anyway, i'm pretty excited to see where this leads, b/c it'll be nice to actually do something instead of just planning to do something, you know?
and just backtracking to delta: you know, felix, i think you maybe on to something with that choir thing... not that i'm a choir person (not since i hit puberty, anyhow :p ), but when we were worshipping on friday night, i had just such a wonderful feeling of oneness with everybody. we've all begun to become such good friends and there was just something about all these people singing their hearts out -- such a sense of community, intimacy, and unity through our love for God that just made me think "this must be a glimpse of what heaven will be like..." i mean, our singing that night wasn't any different from any other friday night, but it was still absolutely amazing.
my saturday was mostly unproductive, but still wonderful. there are fewer things better than waking up on a saturday morning without an alarm clock and then going about your morning without any outside interruption and at an unhurried pace. it's such a nice, tranquil time to read, reflect, and dream.
i got to talk with jenne (in hah-vard), mei, and brandon this weekend for some much needed discussion, and i must say once again that i have been so blessed with such wonderfully wise and kooky friends. i had some mini-issues (and joys) to share with them, and i felt so much better for speaking with them. you know what though? even after talking with them, i think i've come to the conclusion that i'm never going to be rid of my specific issues completely. (please don't yell at me or sigh in exasperation...) ok, i'm going to later regret this little "outburst", but please bear with me and promise that you won't case this up to me later...
anyway, it's b/c even after all this time, i'm still unable to really reconcile the idea that the jerk and nice guy are indeed one and the same. why is that? deep down, i suppose i think it's still all a phase or something and that it'll be all sunshine and rainbows afterwards. or maybe i just desperately do not want to think of everything as "time wasted", you know? and even if the former were the case, what then? it's not like i trust or even like him, nor is the said person the one for me. so why all these recurring issues on a (as far as i am concerned) dead subject? well: 1) i still can't get over my own stupid pride. (he's just not that in to you, get over it! haha, i want to read that book!) 2) i still have faith that his niceness is still there. 3) call it the puppy dog reflex or whatever, but i always have the insane urge to try to "fix" everything/everyone. i just can't stand seeing someone throw away important things in their life. 4) my judgement couldn't have been that poor, right? 5) no matter what, i'm still going to care b/c i promised that i was going to, dammit! 6) there's no other drama in my life, so my mind will make some up on its own! (actually, i'm worried that that will happen wrt guys since i haven't liked any in such a long time. brain, i command you to not do that!)
oh well, all i can do is pray a bit and then try to remember that this isn't my problem anymore.
ok, so enough of this nonsense. anyway, i spent the rest of the weekend trying to study and having chinese new year with my mom's side of the family. we went to this ginormous mandarin in the middle of brampton and let me just say, wow. i think it's a little bit pricier than normal, but this location is absolutely huge, the food's pretty decent, and the rooms are themed (one bamboo one with an actual waterfall, one aquatic one with a salt-water aquarium the span of the wall, and a tropical bird room with an actual aviary! a veritable zoo!) actually, it would have been cooler if there were lizards in the tropical display, but it was all still pretty cool. plus, it was just fun b/c my cousins are awesome. (bethany made me a report card where i got an A+ average in "being nice" and all-round F's in "being bad". love 'em.)
ok, gotta go study now. sorry for leaving you all this to read through!
<3>the screwtape letters by c.s. lewis and, once again, i must say that he is an absolute genius. if you haven't already, you must read this book. it's such an interesting read (written from a devil's point of view), it's very accessible, and it makes you think and approach your life in a completely different manner.
p.p.s. when are all your reading weeks?
p.p.p.s. don't forget to drop me a line or email me so that i know you're still alive! (who knows, i might even do the same!)
