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achoo!

Thursday, November 27, 2003

and as we start to see the first glimpses of snow (thankfully not full-fledged yet), it's time for.... knitting season!!! haha, grace keeps telling me that i should bring my knitting to class - i can just see it now, some prof getting flustered b/c some girl near the front is watching him intently while knitting throughout the entire lecture. i suppose, it would just be an odd sight. you know, i really would do it if it weren't for the fact that i kinda need to take notes during class... darn...

knitting: the next big thing. (ok, maybe not really... though i heard that there's a shop in pac mall that solely sells knitting stuff... oh, those crazy chinese... ;p )

anyway, a big welcome to alex! :)

you know, reading over my previous blogs (and yes, sometimes i do b/c i'm a big narcissist), i realise that i can be really random and incoherant. so i can no more be indignant when nat tells me that i'm a big rambling crazy... but that's ok, you guys all still love me anyway, right? even if i don't make sense? to which i can hear erin saying "what? but tiffany never makes sense!"

anyway, so i'm going home tommorrow for the weekend. pretty excited to be home again (i <3 my family and friends!) and gonna meet duncan... better brush up on my shanghainese! "veh-lezzeh! vah-ling!" but yeah, have slightly mixed feelings b/c a certain person might be home this weekend too... i don't know... i feel kinda hesitant - especially when midterms have reduced me into "ugly dumpling" (haha, i mean "duckling", can you tell what i just had for dinner? though i wouldn't mind some peking duck...) and you know that whole "the best revenge is looking good" thing. haha, well, not that i want revenge b/c i'm not (i hope!) a bitter person, nor am i angry, but still... you girls know what i mean!

but i don't know... i mean, we still haven't really talked... and i don't want to come off as some girl who's still hung up, but on the other side of the spectrum, i also don't want to seem like i don't care. because i still do... the same capacity, but not necessarily in the same context, if you can follow my fuzzy reasoning. it's just that i think it's stupid to give up on friendships, especially when they've been developing for almost two decades! and at the same time, it bugs the hell out of me to think that i just may be that replaceable in his life - in any of my friends' lives, actually. not meaning to be egotistical or anything, but i'd like to think that i'm actually important in the lives of the people i know. but whatever, there's nothing i can do.

in the end though, i think it all just goes back to trusting God. i don't think there's anything else i can do. He knows what i need and i just have to have faith that He'll do what's best for me. even if it drives me nuts. as it often does. :p
i suppose in the meantime i should just focus on Him and nothing else... perhaps this is all for the best? no distractions this way. just go on my life and wait for the triangle - can't search, b/c it doesn't work that way. other seemingly good methods just don't work. anyway, like it says in ecclesiastes, everything has its own perfect time... i just have to realise that His clock just might not be the same one that i'm running on at the moment!

so, away from distractions, eh? haha, despite the (at times) questionable science program, maybe it's a good thing that i did come all the way to queens in far-away kingston after all... :)

sorry for the melodramatic introspection, guys. actually, i had originally written a little more, but upon reflection, thought it sounded too angsty and made me look worse off than i really am. besides the fact that at the moment there is no life beyond school, life has been good to me. He's blessed me with so much that i really shouldn't complain. speaking of which, my goodness, you guys are awesome! thanks for always leaving me such nice messages - they put a smile on my face everytime i read them!

in honour of this weekend, for you. it's limozeen! ;)

posted @ 10:44:00 p.m.

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